Power Blog

Happy Friday Each and Everyone.

Boosting the Signal

In May, Maddie Blomgren, LPC, CADMS of the Anger & Relationships Institute, LLC, is putting out a power blog about anger and relationships.  I am honored enough to have one of my blog entries posted.  It looks as if there will be a lot of great posts and I'm trying to get the word out.  Below is a note from Ms. Blomgren on how to get all the posts.  My post is number 10 so probably around May 20th. I look forward to reading all of the contributors. 

"Please be my guest...to free access to 14 posts from the world's leading authorities on anger and relationships all in one place. The entire month of May a blog will be posted every-other-day by one of the experts. It's your chance to receive the best and most current advice on relationships, the opposite sex, and ways to curb your anger!! 14 blogs, and some extras for subscribers, in 30 days.

Then it's over. May ends, the blog ends, the emails end.

If you want to get the most out of the 14 blogs, I would like to ask you to register for the series. You'll receive one email every-other-weekday for four weeks  (total of 14) notifying you that the post is up and sharing the link to it (plus those extras for subscribers). 

    

{this is the signup link)}

http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=fuiuaydab&p=oi&m=1103538823813 

Of course you don't have to register and can follow along by checking the blog every-other-day or through the RSS feed, but I STRONGLY encourage you to register for a couple of reasons:

1. When you sign up for something and it shows up in your inbox, it reminds you of your commitment to yourself and to change.
2. There will be extra info and maybe a goody or two for those who are serious enough about this 30 day series to register. The posts on the blog will be helpful to anyone who stops by to read them. But the emails sent every-other day, will include an extra resource, a video,  or even something for you. If you choose to sign up, you can unsubscribe anytime.   

We will not share, give, sell, or rent your email address to anyone. The other guest authors will not get your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time.

{This is the sign up link again}

 http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=fuiuaydab&p=oi&m=1103538823813

Check 30 Days 4 Better Relationships if you wish to sign up for the blog.

  

May 1 to May 31 - 14 posts

LOCATION:

             www.angermanagementthatworks.com

These experts have donated their time and articles to help you. If you want to help us spread the word, I'd consider it a personal favor if you sent this link to anyone you think may be interested. Also give a shout in your Twitter conversations. We want to reach and help as many people as possible. I understand that it may seem untoward to send someone a link about anger management. If you'd rather not, then please do "LIKE" us on Facebook. That will help get the word out as well.

 http://www.facebook.com/pages/30-Days-To-Better-Relationships/280313528714728  (This is the FB link, the button should work tho if you copy it)"




-- 
Maddie Blomgren, LPC, CADMS
Anger & Relationships Institute, LLC

Three Quarters of the Way

I’ve been thinking about friendships and relationships in general.  There is a fine line between letting someone walk all over you and accepting a person for who they are.  I believe I am basically a good friend.  I care about people, am loyal and can make a friend laugh.  However, there are times in the past when I’ve acted badly or hurt a friend.  There are times I’ve reached out to try to mend a friendship and it wasn’t well received.  There are other friends who hang in there all of the time (You know who you are (Karen and Kristin to name two) but other people don’t seem to want to be bothered.

Looking back on some of my friendships that I harmed, I can see that I just didn’t have the skills I needed to mend fences.  I wonder how much richer both my life and some other people’s lives could have been if they took my overtures as they were intended.  I might have learned the skills at that time of how to strengthen a relationship.

How often do you cut people out of your life?  Have you ever seen someone trying to make up with you but for whatever reason you don’t think it is enough.  Maybe you tell yourself that you’ll meet them halfway but they need to work at it.  What would happen if you met the other person three quarters of the way?  Maybe they don’t have the skills necessary to do what you need.  Maybe they really don’t know what to do.  What if you role modeled how to patch up a relationship.  It is normal for people to come and go in our lives but there is such a thing as continuity and having history with someone. 

I just think that if sometimes a person isn’t so rigid or unwilling to give a little more than they think they should, they might benefit from the richness of relationship.  If you are able to do go a bit farther for someone then maybe people will be able to do it for you.

People and relationships are not disposable.  They are often worth going that extra mile.

“If one does not wish bonds broken, one should make them elastic and

thereby strengthen them." ~ Ardant du Picq

Teen Dating Rules

I was quoted in this article on this local article about Teen Dating Rules.  It was one of those times when I thought up all sorts of great tips after I finished the conversation.  I know you all have been there.  I would have probably said more about social media.  How it is important to monitor your kids use of social media but don't become all wrapped up in your kids Facebook page.  For example, don't respond to your child's friends, don't take up battle against another kid because you think they've hurt yours by a comment.  Don't make it become more important to you then it even is to them.  Your perception and your child's might be very different so if you are concerned - Talk to them and model appropriate responses.

I think my parenting advice generally boils down to this.  Trust your instincts.  Put out all the background noise, all the advice (except mine of course - whoops -even mine.) and do what you believe is right.  You know your child better than anyone else.  Trust this.  If your gut is telling you to do something, do it.  If your gut is telling you something is wrong (even if you don't want to listen,) act on it.  You can do this.  You are the expert.

Benefit of the Doubt

I was talking to a current supervisor of mine the other day.  I had worked with her years earlier at another workplace.  It wasn’t the ideal work situation and I felt very uncomfortable from day one.  I struggled to engage others and since my job was completely different than everyone else, it was somewhat hard to feel like I belonged. 

My initial overtures were met with roadblocks so I tried to find a way to cope.

One of the ways I coped was to make sure I had my Ipod with me and I would listen to music while doing paperwork or when I was by myself to distract me from anxiety and that awkward feeling.  Even though it was never an ideal workplace I stuck with it and eventually I struck some kind of balance with getting to know and getting along with others.  As I became more comfortable I didn’t carry my ipod (although I always had it playing in my office – still do come to think about it) and interacted more with everyone.

My current supervisor was telling me that she and another worker thought I was so unfriendly (which honestly is not a word used to describe me much) and that I thought I was better than them because I would sit and listen to my music rather than be open for people to interact with me. 

I wonder how often people make judgments – believing the worst about people – rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt.   I felt uncomfortable, not unfriendly and didn’t feel welcome – not thinking I was better than my coworkers.  It seems like they were unsure about me and had a negative experience with the past person in my position so they also assumed the worst about me.  How much smoother my transitions into the job have gone if all of us had given the other the benefit of the doubt?  It seems like a wasted opportunity because if initial if we had believed the best intentions from the other person the relationship may have been much more positive.

There are situations where you shouldn’t give the benefit of the doubt such as harm or victimization of another but in everyday scenarios why don’t we believe the best about others.

It is so easy to apply our own insecurities and concerns onto other’s behaviors.  We filter their behavior through our expectations.  Next time you are interpreting someone’s behaviors, consider giving them the benefit of the doubt and see how much better the situation may go.

Tips for Men - Coping with the break-up

I created a short ezine article - Tips for Men Coping with the Break-up. 
See what you think!


http://ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-Men---After-the-Breakup&id=6668947