This happens to me sometimes. I am supposed to go out with a friend and I think “I am so tired. I want to see her but I’d really like to stay home and rest.” Maybe it is a family party and instead of looking forward to seeing and enjoying everyone, I’m just adding it as one more TASK on my “to do” list. Maybe I mean to get a massage or my nails done for some self-care but I just don’t think I have the time. Hasn’t this happened to you? Something that ‘should’ be a fun activity seems to turn into this great big commitment and trial. Excuses from “I have too much to do” to “I need to get stuff done around the house” to “I just need down time on my own” to whatever. Then either you force yourself to go – with anticipatory dread- and maybe even really enjoy yourself or you make an excuse and don’t go and miss out on the opportunity to enjoy yourself and connect. Then, even if you planned on some quiet, down time, it doesn’t happen. You find things to do around the house or feel guilty about not doing anything. (How many times have you said “I got nothing done!”)
Doesn’t this seem a bit crazy? Yes, I meant to say crazy. Somewhere our priorities get a little off skew. Yes, we need income. Yes, we need to follow through with commitments and responsibilities. What about enjoying life? What about actually looking forward to going out and being with friends and family?
Ideally, we would try to find joy in all that we do but if we are going to dread something – why is it the fun things?
Next time you have something ‘fun’ planned try changing your thinking. Think about how you enjoy being at family events or going to the art fair or going to a game. If you start dreading the “fun” activity, question to see if you are setting up the barriers to enjoy yourself. We benefit from embracing fun. You have my permission to look forward to fun. Now, give yourself that permission.
