Still Moved - Check it Out!

Don't forget that my blog has moved to "holdinghopeservices.com"   I look forward to seeing you there!

Moving Blog

Hi everyone!  I am moving my blog to www.holdinghopeservices.com.  I am hoping in the process to get rid of the weird alpha interventions thing and have a nice new platform.  Please update your bookmarks.  Click on the link below.  Looking forward to seeing everyone there!    


Holding Hope Services Blog

Independence Day

I thought I might as well do a requisite Independence Day Post.  Happy Fourth of July to those in the United States.  The fourth reminds me of all the things I am grateful for.  I am grateful that I have choices to be who I want to be.  Many more women in this world do not have the opportunity to say, act, dress and be whoever they want to be.  I am grateful that I can believe and state my beliefs without fear of imprisonment or retribution.  I am grateful that I can speak up for what I believe in and that those who have opposite views of me can speak up too.  I am grateful that I can choose to go to any church I’d like or choose not to go to church at all.  I love the individuality values of America.   I am grateful that I don’t live in a homogenous culture – I have the opportunity to meet and know so many people from different worlds than I am from.  I am grateful despite the limitations and struggles in this country that there are still endless opportunities.

I’d also like to thank all the individuals who served this country.  I thank those who choose to serve and those who were made to, those who are remembered and those who are forgotten and those who made the ultimate sacrifice.  It is because of these people I am able to enjoy my freedoms.

Hope you have a wonderful Independence Day.

June is PTSD Awareness Post II

The first post I did spoke about some of the events causing trauma and some of the symptoms a person might experience.  Maybe now you recognize trauma in yourself and wonder what now.  Here are some tips to coping with traumatic events.

June is PTSD Awareness Month Post I

Now that June is almost over it seems like I should have mentioned that June is PTSD awareness month. Here is part of a rack card I created about PTSD.  What I think is most important for people to know is that no matter how hopeless a situation feels that if you hang in there, it will get better.  That is where my business name Holding Hope Services is coming from.  I can hold hope for someone until they can do it for themselves.

Taking My Own Advice

One of my goals of trying the 30 posts in 30 days challenge was to get writing regularly again.  You see how well that worked out.  The phenomenal thing is that I finally feel like I have time to write again.  During my little hiatus I decided to take my own advice.  I decided to remember that life is meant to be lived and not endured and that a person can’t profit from  a risk if they never take a chance.  I decided to take a chance. As much as I love private practice, I did not enjoy my day job.  I love the patients I saw but the job itself- not so much.  So,   I quit my W-2 job and decided to jump full into private practice.  This means I am relying totally on myself to make enough money to live.  This is  a scary proposition but worth it to do what I love.  

Hopefully, I will have more time to be creative and relish all that life puts before me. 

Quote

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.” 
― Jonathan Safran Foer

I saw this quote today and something about the words touched me.  Sometimes, I feel exactly this way.  I feel there are so many possibilites and so many paths not taken.  The real tragedy, I think, would to not dare to live at least one full, amazing life.  What barriers are you putting up to living the life you can imagine.  Tear those barrier downs.  Then you can think about the path you are taking and revel.

Choice

I've decided that my choice is to do what I love.  I believe doing what I love, living my passions will bring me contentment and happiness.  Sometimes I put obstacles and barriers of my own making into place and it gets in the way of fully living my journey.  I feel like I have to earn good times and getting what I want.  It turns out that I don't.  Sometimes life is hard and sometimes I make it harder than it needs to be.  Today I am going to choose to not put up fake barriers.  Today I am going to choose happiness.  What are you going to choose today?

Really Random (totally non-relevant to anything) advice for Today

Be open to new things I say.  We have opportunity to learn each day.  Sometimes we get so set in our ways that we forget to be open.  It seems that people may worry that if they take in new information and learn that it I somehow a reflection on them not being good enough.  Instead of listening to new information we become defensive and miss out.  Learning and adjusting our thinking with our new knowledge is an amazing gift we have – don’t waste it.





I most recently learned that it is not a good idea to put shower gel in the little foot spa I have at home.  It is one of those little things that you put your feet in and it bubbles and warms your feet.  I thought  to myself “why not put a couple of drops of shower gel in there.”  This was not a good idea.  I turned my back for less than a minute and there were bubbles EVERYWHERE.  There were lots and lots and lots of bubbles.  The bubbles were pretty, which I noted and enjoyed, but an absolute mess to clean up.  (Which is a bit like some of life really.  Things can be beautiful and messy and a pain to clean up.)  It was like the only one time in your life (for me it was with my roommates in college) where you run out of dishwasher soap so you think what would it hurt to use a bit of regular dish sink soap instead.    You quickly learn that is not a good idea when over half your kitchen is saturated with bubbles.  It was kind of like that.



To sum up my totally random ramblings of today:  Bubbles are pretty and are to be enjoyed.  Also – be open to learning new things – it is one way to grow and embrace joy in your life!

Why I Care that May is Mental Health Awareness Month

I want people to speak about Mental Health.  There is too much stigma and shame attached to mental illness and mental health.

If I could get people to do one thing, I would get them to speak up about mental illness.  This comes from a very personal place.  I grew up with a mother who had a severe mental illness.  Her behavior could vacillate from very normal and appropriate to outright bizarre. 

 Let me give you a couple of examples of bizarre.  These are only a couple examples of pretty consistent,constant behavior during her bad times.  During one of my first two years of high school there was a parent’s night where the parents go to all your classes and the teachers talked about their curriculum.  My parents went and during the time when my French teacher was talking, my mom stared at the ceiling.  Stared at the ceiling and sung her ABC’s loudly because she had a thing about listening to gossip.  In her mind the teacher was gossiping so my mom had to show whoever that she wouldn’t listen so she was disruptive.  This is bizarre. 

Let me give you another example.  At one of my band concerts my mom passed notes to the person behind her that said things like “I know you why you are here.”   She was sure most of the people around her were trying to trick her and cause her trouble.  This is bizarre.

No one talked about it.

Outside of our family no one mentioned my mom’s actions to me.  Maybe (read maybe as definitely) they talked about how weird she was behind her back but that isn’t necessarily helpful.

 

As a child, I knew that something wasn’t right.  I even knew my mom was in emotional pain most of the time.  This means as a child I really questioned most adult’s intellect because couldn’t they see something was wrong.  I believe my mom and in turn my family suffered for far longer than necessary because of shame and stigma attached to Mental Illness.  I know there are millions of others that suffer similarly.

Maybe if my parents or family had any idea about mental illness, the services out there, and the medication available or even had a name for what was going on, some of their pain would have been alleviated.  Her family was amazing in that they accepted her for who she was but they also had no idea how to help the situation.  Maybe if people spoke up there would be less stigma.  Shame and stigma come from things being hidden and being buried like something is so wrong it can’t see the light of day.

Mental Health is important.  Taking care of your mental health, wherever you are on the continuum, is not shameful.  My mom eventually received help after many years and found the right mix of medication.  She always struggled with mental illness but it stopped being what defined her.  She was a whole person who happened to have a mental illness.  I hope other families are able to speak up and not suffer in silence.

Speak up and tell your stories.

End of Ultimate Blog Challenge

At the beginning of April I decided to participate in the ultimate blog challenge of 30 posts in 30 days because I like competing with myself and because I felt like I was lazy about getting posts up.   I completed a lot of blog starts but not so many finishes and I felt like I wanted to finish some.

I ended up with   26/30  posts (counting this one.)  Not so bad.  There was a moment last week where I thought “I’m not going to make my goal, I better do a bunch a quick posts.”  Then I thought, “why?”   The 30 out of 30 was a goal I made up for myself.  (It was a should but since shoulds are all made up there is no reason not to change it.)   I have had an exceptionally busy two weeks and I decided balance and down time were more important than completing some random blog posts.

I believe this is something for all of us to remember.  First, goals are flexible.  Yes, it is great to reach a goal but it is about the journey not the destination.  Many goals are not meet at all cost goals.  Two,  taking care of ourselves and finding balance is more important than reaching an arbitrary goal.

Thank you to everyone who read my musings this past month.  My hope is I am energized and will post regularly!

Happy May Day Tomorrow.

Things Not To Say

I saw this article on things on to say to mothers.  Worth reading!

8 Things Never to Say To moms 

Several things I wouldn't say to anybody, not just moms.

A good rule of thumb is to be kind in your intractions.  Telling someone they really need to dye their hair (if it is not your very best friend in the world) isn't helpful.  The other day one of my bosses said that to me.  Instead of being helpful (which I know her and she was genuinely trying to be helpful), I wasted moments of my life worrying about my hair.  Just saying.

So..  Ask yourself if what you are saying is helpful or hurtful (before you say it.)  Be Kind. Be Kind. Be Kind.

More of My Thoughts on Food and Stuff

Since working in dialysis I have been fortunate enough to work with some phenomenal dietitians.  For someone who has weight issues it can be daunting to start working with a dietitian.  Initially, I would wonder “are they watching what I eat?” and wonder if they are judging me for my weight.  Turns out those are my own issues and not my coworker dietitians.

When I became friends with the nutritionists I worked with I saw that they were also just people with a specialty and passion for food and nutrition.  Sometimes they struggle with their weight and eating too.  I’ve become a person who completely encourages individuals to work with nutritionists if possible.  They can be so much a resource.  (They are not the eating police.)

“I know what to do, I just don’t do it.”  I am sure I’ve said it before.  Many of my family and even clients have said it too.  The thing is I think that is just an excuse not to move forward and live healthier.  Nutritionists can help in so many ways.  The Nutritionist, Christine, with my practice is a busy mom.  I bet she can help you plan easy and healthy meals both you and your kids can eat.  She has a passion whe can share with people. In my quest to give up (or at least greatly reduce) my intake of diet coke, Christine, was the first person to help me figure out an alternative.  (It turns out it isn’t the taste of diet coke that was keeping me drinking it.  Water, flavored or otherwise wouldn’t work as a substitution because it was the carbonation I was craving.  Who knew?)  I have been maintaining a greatly decreased intake of diet coke because she asked me the right questions.

Taking the time to join weight watchers and talk about is helpful because I am not just living in denial, I am paying attention to what I eat.  I know sometimes that I put food in my mouth without thought and I bet I’m not the only one. This is one way for me to take responsibility.  I don't know how far I'll go but this time is wasted because it is a time when I am present and in the moment with food.

Ok.  Probably more than you ever wanted to know about my thoughts on Nutrionists and food but what the heck.  Today’s parting advice:  Don’t let past perceived failures get in the way of living the way you’d like today.

Tell Everyone

I am someone who hasn’t known a day of my life where my weight wasn’t a struggle.  Although I believe in the connection between our mind and body I haven’t made a concerted effort to live a healthier lifestyle recently.  Now I am taking that step.  I’m trying to mesh my values and my actions.  (This pretty much always leads to a more content soul.)

First I cut my intake of caffeine (particularly diet coke) by 95%.   I’ve seemed to work this into my daily life so I have started the next step – losing weight and healthier eating. 

I want to lose weight but my overall goal is to physically feel better and live well.  I joined Weight Watchers online in an effort to really focus on my eating.

My instinct is to keep it a secret.   If I don’t tell people I’m trying to lose weight then it won’t matter if I can’t do it.  Wait.  I realize this means I’ve already decided to fail.  Not good.  I would benefit from following my own advice.  1) Don’t decide the outcome before I’ve lived the journey.  2)  It is not a pass/fail situation.  Every change I make, every time I take a moment to be aware of my food, every healthier choice I make is progress.  It isn’t about the finish line but about changing the way I live and enjoying the journey.

This I will remind myself.

This time I’m telling everyone what I’m trying to do.  (Day 2 of working on healthier choices.) This is a subject I have a lot to say on so I’m sure you’ll be hearing about this again.  Live the journey before you decide you are going to fail.

In Your Twenties

This article caught my eye on my FB feed. 

Our Roaring 20s the Defining Decade 

It is definitely worth a look.  I love working with adults in their young twenties.  It is fun looking at the possibilities of life and all that may come.  I often find myself frustrated.  More than once in consultation I have talked about separating my issues from the young clients.  I struggle with the idea that so many in their early twenties don’t seem motivated to get out there and live life.  Many seem OK to live at mom and dads forever.  It is not unusual for a 24 or 25 year old tell me their mom told them they weren’t allowed to do something.  Inside I’m thinking, “You’re an adult – you can do it anyway.”  Of course if you’re financial dependent on the parents then maybe you can’t.  

I don’t think it an issue of laziness just different expectations and current trends.  I want the young people to get out there and do amazing things, find their careers, find their passions, and experience experiences.  I constantly checking if it is my wishes or their goals that I’m championing because obviously clients know themselves best and know what they want and honoring that is imperative.

I agree with the author about the twenties being a huge defining time in our lives, however it is not the only chance.  I know I am so very different than I was even at 30.  I have more passion, hope and drive so I don’t believe not having a wild and crazy twenties is definite deterrent to creating oneself but all that time when you could start embracing life.  Think of your twenties and what you could have missed out.

Remember, without those experiences you won’t have good stories to tell as you get older.  Just a thought.

Sparkling

Happy Beginning of the Week.


How about you make tomorrow (or Today) a sparkling day.  Stop saving all your special outfits and your anticipated activities for a special day.  How often do we save something so we have something to look forward to.  Why?  Live today.  I have this blue shirt I love to wear.  It has sequence on it and I don't think a day has gone by that I've worn it and someone hasn't said "you look sparkly."  Well, why not.  I was going to get my hair done - why not celebrate.  I wonder how great today could be if you just decided to sparkle and celebrate.  

So totally random I can't even say

This is a totally random Julie post which has nothing to do with mental health at all and really no redeeming value in the order of things.  However, I am trying to do 30 posts in 30 days and it is Saturday so I'm writing anyway.  (See~make your own rules and don't get caught up in the shoulds ~just saying.)


I was flossing my teeth (yes, I'm trying to be dental smart after so many years of being dental not smart) and I have to use floss that is attached to a plastic pick thing.  I cannot stand the feel of floss on my fingers.  It just grosses me out to no end.  I have no idea why but it is true.


I also am really disgusted by wet toilet paper.  One of my aunts used to work with two year olds in a daycare and one of her activities was to make "clean mud."  Basically it is lots and lots of toilet paper which has been watered down.  Kids could then play in it like it was mud.  I just...no.   I worked with the older toddlers in the room next to her and I would have dealt with paint all over the place or a table full of water before that any day.  I can't imagine a scenario where I would voluntarily deal with wet toilet paper.  It is creeping me out writing about.


Floss and wet toilet paper bother me but I can work in a dialysis center and see people's blood circulating next to them and I don't bat an eye.  Just like me you probably have words you just don't like and can't stand hearing.  I wonder where our idiosyncratic dislikes come from? 


What are your intense dislikes?  What disgusts you that other people wouldn't even notice?


See, a totally irrelevant to life post.  You may now be thinking this is a minute of your life you will never get back. I probably should be sorry about that but I try not to get caught up in the shoulds.


Happy Saturday.

April is...

April is Stress awareness month…

Another reason to celebrate – yay.  (Which could alleviate stress ~ see how it all goes together.)

I think of stress as being heavy and weighted.  Stress brings us down when we are focusing on too many things or have some gigantic worry on our mind.  Even good things can contribute to stress like having a baby or getting a new job.  What is important is how you take care of yourself.  Some people exercise, some people scream, some people have sex, some people get lost in fanfiction for hours (totally not me – really.)  What do you do when you are stressed?  Do you have a plan?  Keep a list of activities to distract and calm your mind so you have a readily available idea to jump into.   It is important to step back and combat stress occasionally.  Without a break from stress your mental and physical well-being can be negatively impacted. Below are some links to follow to find out more about stress awareness month.

http://www.foh.dhhs.gov/calendar/april.html 

http://stressawarenessmonth.com/ 

http://stress.about.com/b/2012/04/07/daily-piece-of-peace-celebrate-stress-awareness-month-with-low-stress-living.htm

Veterans

I wanted to amplify the Veteran's Job and Resource Fair my brother coordinates in the Elgin area. 

Veteran's Summit - Elgin, IL May 22, 2012 9:00-1:00pm

There will be lots of services there which could be helpful for veterans.  You can also find out information about the fair by going to the Elgin Community College Calendar at www.elgin.edu .

If you are looking for resources they are out there.  There is free mental health counseling for veterans of the OIF/OEF campaigns through Give An Hour.

You can also look up services through the VA at Veterans Administration or get information from National Veterans Foundation .

You are not alone.  There is assistance out there!

Doctor Who Quote 2

Hello,

I'm ready to share my next favorite Doctor Who quote (and no they are not in any particular order.)

For the previous Doctor Who Blog Post follow the link below.

04/03/2012 - Doctor Who Quote 1 (and explanation)

“Letting it get to you. That’s being alive; it’s being here right now. And that’s the best thing there is.”-11th Doctor, /The Doctor’s Wife/

Many of people’s struggles with the problems in their life have to do with avoiding emotions.  I’ve said it before allow you to feel those uncomfortable feelings – they aren’t going to go away by ignoring them.  Not only will feeling those emotions help you, feeling them will also enable you to be comfortable around other people who are struggling with their own rough feelings.    You can sit with them and witness instead of distracting them in an effort to lighten the mood. (Yes, I know I am guilty of this. I’m working on it.)

I think this quote is not just about struggles but staying in the moment and living fully.  When you feel passionate about something, shout it out to the world.  When you are happy – share it.  When something gets to you – speak out.  Feel.  Be alive.  Don’t worry about looking stupid or doing it wrong – just live.

And just for fun the BBC trailer from the episode "The Doctor's Wife."