Random quote

So I saw this quote on someone's Facebook and I thought "Yes!"  I think that many times people - both men and women- are just really hard on themselves.  We can love other people despite and because of their flaws but we refuse to love ourselves with the same abandon.  It is OK we have imperfections.  This is what makes us uniquely us.   I am someone who may be described as always having a smile, energetic and bright but I am also often moody, talk way too much and speak way too fast.  You know what?  That is all OK.  I like who I am.  This doesn't mean I can't grow and change but it means I get to love even the part of myself that is less likeable.  Try accepting and showing yourself at least the compassion you would show a stranger.  Your flaws (real or perceived) are part of the amazing mosaic of you!  Love yourself - with abandon.


*The quote on the picture is...*

“Let someone love you just as you are.  As flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you might feel, as unaccomplished as you might think you are; let someone love you just as you are.  And let that someone be you. “  Sandra Kring (www.sandrakring.com)

Rebel - Just a little.

Life is often the same old thing day after day.  Get up, go to work, clean house, pick the kids up, make dinner, get gas – whatever- the same routine again and again.  Maybe you aren’t ready to make huge changes.  Maybe you don’t feel like you can do something wild and crazy but you know what?  You could do something just a little.

Maybe you could not style your hair before you go out.  Wear non-matching clothes.  Have a fun size snickers and string cheese for breakfast.  (I admit to doing this but I wasn’t rebelling – just not planning ahead.)  Skip work.  Go to a movie by yourself.  Go for a walk.  Leave the kids at their aunts on a school night.  Take a drive no where.  Do something that brings you joy but is out of your routine and is a bit unexpected. 

I rebel just a little each time I write in print such as when I am filling out a form.  I print the small letter a wrong almost every time. I print a instead of a. (Since it is in my last name I get to do it a lot!)  It is a small thing but it is one way for me to say “hey – I don’t have to be just like everyone else.  I can enjoy being me.”  (I also know they teach kids not to put a hat on a capital J but I do it anyway.  Yes I do. I get to rebel twice each time I write me name.) 

If you feel like you are doing the same thing every day.  If you feel as if life is just drudgery.  Stop.  Think.  Act.  Do one little thing to rebel – no one but you even needs to know you do it.  Life really isn’t about staying in the lines.  Color outside them, be creative and live.  

Random Tips on Coping With A Chronic Illness

I've been working on creating a tip sheet for working with chronic illness and this is what I have thus far and thought I would share.  (They are only random because it turns out I like to use the word random a lot!)

Tips for Living With A Chronic Illness

1 – It is Ok to grieve.  Grieving means you acknowledge the changes and will be able to embrace moving forward.  Know that grief will come and go and will generally lesson over time.

2 – Accept your illness.  It is what it is and accepting doesn’t mean you are happy with your illness but that you can understand that life sucks sometimes and that you have the strength to go on and even be happy.

3 – Stay productive.  You are tired and in pain and you just want to feel better.  Keeping a job or going out with the grandkids or spending time gardening may seem like impossible tasks.  Keeping active will improve your mood and even your health exponentially.  Try to do what you can.

4 – Take responsibility for your health.  Not only do you know yourself best, only you can follow the doctor’s recommendations.  Sometimes with an illness it is easy to feel like everyone has control over your life.  You may constantly be given directions such as “go take this test” or “don’t eat that” or “its not a big deal, it will only take a few hours.”   Take back the control.  This is your life.  It is not up to anyone else but you.

5 – Connect with your spirituality.   You are more than your illness.  Try connecting with whatever you believe in and try finding solace and comfort.  This can be an opportunity for self-reflection and looking at the bigger picture as it pertains to you.

6 – Accept help from others.  It is easy to say “I’m ok, I can do it.”  Most of the time when people offer to help they really want to help.  Give them an opportunity.  It is not a weakness to let someone help you out.

7 – Let yourself have bad days.  Everyone, if they are healthy or sick, have rough days.  Forgive yourself for having bad days.  Remember bad days or times will pass.  A bad moment doesn’t mean all day will be horrible and a bad day doesn’t mean there won’t be good days and moments coming up.

8 – Find joy where you can.  It may seem cliché but if you look you can find moments of joy all over the place.  The colors of the trees, clean sheets, the smell of cookies, hearing your favorite song, a hello from a friend, a funny cartoon, your dog being happy to see you, your child saying something hilarious – to just name a few.  Maybe it is just time to yourself or a short time without pain.   Work at recognizing and honoring moments of joy when they occur.

Happy You are Here

I grabbed this from somebody's Facebook and am not sure the source.  (Trying to read the link at the bottom.)  When was the last time you remembered that there are people just happy you are alive, that there are people who enjoy seeing you, being with you, and hoping you are happy.  Remember, we're happy you are here.

Random Thoughts on Money

This article talks about using humor in the “money discussion” with your significant other.  I thought I’d share because a major source of conflict between couples is often money issues.  It seems like in “the big picture” the couple wants the same things.  People mention stability, security, providing for their children, having a little extra for some fun.  It is in the details that problems occur.

Article:Humor in the War of Wages

Ignoring financial issues won’t make them go away.  Leaving all the decision making to a partner often leads to resentment by the spouse taking care of everything.  Talk about  your finances.  If you have a partner who manages all the money in the relationship, take time to acknowledge it.  Maybe the number one way to decrease the resentment is to put aside some time to talk about money.  Most people I know who are the main money manager in the partnership say things like “If he would just sit with me a few minutes each week so I wouldn’t feel like it was all on me.”  Or “I wish she’d show some interest in what I am doing with the money.”    Even if you would do just about anything  avoid talking about your finances try spending just a bit of time each week or month and you might be surprised in decreased conflict or improved satisfaction.  This is not a time to be judgmental or angry but to honestly appraise where the current family situation stands and what may be coming up.

Whether single or in a relationship, thinking about your money each day might be helpful.  My mom used to say to me all the time “If you would just spend a few minutes each day working on your money you would have a handle on your finances and be successful.”  I’ve shared that advice with many people.  I have been told by several people that they work on their money a few minutes each day, just like my mom said, and there was a noticeable difference in their financial savvy.  I’m still working on coming close to reaching this worthwhile goal but I will keep trying.

The End