Quote

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.” 
― Jonathan Safran Foer

I saw this quote today and something about the words touched me.  Sometimes, I feel exactly this way.  I feel there are so many possibilites and so many paths not taken.  The real tragedy, I think, would to not dare to live at least one full, amazing life.  What barriers are you putting up to living the life you can imagine.  Tear those barrier downs.  Then you can think about the path you are taking and revel.

Doctor Who Quote 2

Hello,

I'm ready to share my next favorite Doctor Who quote (and no they are not in any particular order.)

For the previous Doctor Who Blog Post follow the link below.

04/03/2012 - Doctor Who Quote 1 (and explanation)

“Letting it get to you. That’s being alive; it’s being here right now. And that’s the best thing there is.”-11th Doctor, /The Doctor’s Wife/

Many of people’s struggles with the problems in their life have to do with avoiding emotions.  I’ve said it before allow you to feel those uncomfortable feelings – they aren’t going to go away by ignoring them.  Not only will feeling those emotions help you, feeling them will also enable you to be comfortable around other people who are struggling with their own rough feelings.    You can sit with them and witness instead of distracting them in an effort to lighten the mood. (Yes, I know I am guilty of this. I’m working on it.)

I think this quote is not just about struggles but staying in the moment and living fully.  When you feel passionate about something, shout it out to the world.  When you are happy – share it.  When something gets to you – speak out.  Feel.  Be alive.  Don’t worry about looking stupid or doing it wrong – just live.

And just for fun the BBC trailer from the episode "The Doctor's Wife."

Doctor Who Quote(s)

Hi.  I’m Julie and I may be a Doctor Who fan girl.  Yes, I’m doing it.  I’m going to let the side of me that loves Doctor Who come to play.  This show has just some of the most amazing quotes.   Do you have any idea how difficult it was for me to narrow my choices down.  (It was difficult like a difficult thing I’m telling you!)  I also admit I didn't start watching until the ninth doctor but what can you do?  Though I did include a couple of quotes from previous Doctor incarnations too.  If you have no idea what Doctor Who is all about (which would be a super sad face) you can look here
Doctor Who wikipedia  .

I picked several quotes and they will just be popping up once in awhile in my blog posts.  Look at it like a happy surprise.    Most of these were taken from this article and the comments from the article. 

BBC America 20 quotes for 2012  

I can’t judge the accuracy of the quotes but they are “close enough”.  And really, most quotes people are fond of saying are probably just close enough.  Think big picture.

So here we go – and they are in no particular order – Dr. Who quote I like #1.

“There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick." 
- The Doctor 

I LOVE this quote.  It is almost an endorsement for therapy and is definitely an endorsement of learning.  How many times have you heard “let sleeping dogs lie?” Conventional wisdom says don’t create conflict.  Don’t start a problem but sometimes a little stirring up is beneficial.  I am all for peace and calm.  (Come on, I collect peace signs and have a peace sign tattoo.  I also am Libra and you know Libras like things fair and even.)  Only,  sometimes we don’t get to the heart of things, we don’t hash it out and live life to the fullest if we aren’t exploring, learning and poking it with a stick. 

Go ahead try it.

(Also, a trailer below just so you can get an idea.  Probably not an accurate one but let me tell you.  It grows on you!)

You are enough!

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin to Pooh

I have this quote in my office.  More than once someone has told me they read it and remembered they were stronger than they sometimes think.  Don’t sell yourself short.   This isn’t about enduring obstacles.  This is about achieving potential.  This is about jumping in with both feet.  

This is about soaring.  You are more.

Totally random post…

Robert Frost’s Poem:  Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/171621

I have always absolutely loved the last stanza of this poem.  I have actually thought that if I would ever get a quote tattooed on me (which I’m guessing I never will) it would be the lines “…But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.”

Sometimes there are just sayings or lines in songs that touch something in us – even if no one else gets it.  The things that resonate us tells a lot about a person.  I’m not always sure what.

Grab on to those things that resonate with you.  They are who you are.

See.  Totally random.

Friends and Forgiveness

Or... Random ramblings on another quote. 

"We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends." Sir Francis Bacon

This quote caught my attention.  Not so much the part about forgiving our enemies, because even though I fully believe resentment and anger can slowly kill our soul, I don’t know if it is always a good idea to encourage people to forgive those who may have egregiously hurt them.  I think it is more important to process and figure out how to not let someone else’s actions eat us up inside and how to not get lost in anger toward someone.  What is important is not letting rage, anger or resentment consume you so you become that unhappy, angry person.

The part of the quote that did catch my attention is the part of forgiving our friends.  This is the area I see people struggling with a lot.  Friends sometimes disappoint us.  I see so many people cut friends out of their lives over something that in the big picture is probably not that important.  I don’t believe that people should keep others who are constantly disrespecting or not valuing them in their lives but our friends our only human. 

Our friends have bad days and make stupid decisions and may say hurtful things.  For many, it seems easier sometimes to just let go of a friendship then trying to reconcile and work it out.  The reconciling part is always a little uncomfortable.  I wonder if many people’s aversion to uncomfortable feelings allows them to throw away a friendship rather than feel the yucky feelings of figuring it out.  I’m as guilty as the next person.  I look back at my life and there is a friendship or two that I wish I had taken the time to reconcile and nurture.  My life would be richer with those people in it.

 

Friends (and people in general) aren’t disposable.  Some might argue that so much in life and our families are difficult and that friendships should be easy.  I think any relationship - friends or others - take time and work and ultimately are worth it.  I am eternally grateful that my best friend has seen clear to forgive me over the years.  I would be a much poorer person if she wasn’t in my life (as, I believe, I add something to her life.)  Next time a friend disappoints or irritates you, take a moment and ask yourself if this is a relationship worth saving.  Ask yourself if you are throwing something away too quickly.  Ask yourself if you get over the awkwardness or disappointment if you will miss this person in your life.  You are worth having substantial relationships.  (I’m adding that statement because life gets in the way and people seem to forget they can have multiple people in their lives.)  Give forgiving your friends a try.

If one by one we counted people out

For the least sin, it wouldn't take us long

To get so we had no one left to live with.

For to be social is to be forgiving.

Mahatma Gandhi

Random Quote

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future”  Oscar Wilde

I just like this quote. No matter who we are we have a past which made us this person.  Yet our past doesn’t define us.  The quote seems hopeful because no matter our past we can shape our future.  That is all.

Random quote

So I saw this quote on someone's Facebook and I thought "Yes!"  I think that many times people - both men and women- are just really hard on themselves.  We can love other people despite and because of their flaws but we refuse to love ourselves with the same abandon.  It is OK we have imperfections.  This is what makes us uniquely us.   I am someone who may be described as always having a smile, energetic and bright but I am also often moody, talk way too much and speak way too fast.  You know what?  That is all OK.  I like who I am.  This doesn't mean I can't grow and change but it means I get to love even the part of myself that is less likeable.  Try accepting and showing yourself at least the compassion you would show a stranger.  Your flaws (real or perceived) are part of the amazing mosaic of you!  Love yourself - with abandon.


*The quote on the picture is...*

“Let someone love you just as you are.  As flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you might feel, as unaccomplished as you might think you are; let someone love you just as you are.  And let that someone be you. “  Sandra Kring (www.sandrakring.com)

Moments of Clarity

“When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin.  It works not because it settles the question for you but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for”  ~unknown

Yes! Yes! Yes!  Has this ever happened to you?  I (and many others also) call it a moment of clarity.  Sometimes all I get is just that one moment when the answer seems so clear.  That this is path I need to follow.  You know what I’m talking about.  It is that instant when you are so sure of a course of action and everything falls together.  Unfortunately, sometimes it only lasts a moment. 

My hope is that I can keep and hold onto that moment and not let all the other stuff get in the way.  Have you ever had a moment of clarity and then self doubt intrudes?  I might say “I know this is the best choice for me” but then I put up barriers.  I don’t have the money.  I don’t have the time.  I don’t have the ability.  What will people think?  It will take too long.  It just isn’t the right time –later I can do it.

All the doubt and barriers I erect obscure that clearness of the moment and then I question if I ever even had it.

How much have I missed by not grabbing onto the information I found in that moment?  How many better choices may I have made if I just believed in that moment?  How much have you missed by not stomping down that doubt and not just doing what you saw in that moment of clarity.

Next time it happens.  Stop.  Listen.  Believe. Go with it.  See what a difference it can make. 

No Regrets

I am one of those individuals who just do not like it when people say “I have no regrets.” 

I get it.  I do.  People are saying they learned from every mistake or ridiculous thing they’ve done.  They are saying they like who they are now and understand that it is all part of the journey and their past is what makes them who they are today.

I just look at it different.  It seems to me that people should have regrets.  I think having regrets means you actually are alive and did things.  You chose to love or take a chance or do that really stupid thing that has become friend and family folklore of your youth. 

To me having regrets means you learn.  You are able to see times you could have loved a bit more or been a bit more compassionate or a bit safer. 



It seems like if you have no regrets that you’ve missed something.  To me, no regrets mean that with the knowledge I have now I would make all the same decisions (read as mistakes or slight errors of judgment) as I did before.  If I don’t regret something why wouldn’t I do it again?



Instead of saying “I have no regrets”, I want to say “I have regrets and I know so much more now.  I am who I am because of the regrets I have.”

I want to own my regrets.



photo by federico stevanin



Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. – Arthur Miller

Quote

This quote was on someone's facebook status.  I liked it so I'm sharing it with here.

"The violent destruction of evil should be treated with silence and solemnity, not crude celebration." 

M. Frost

Fortune Cookies

Often cliches and sayings we've heard a million times seem trite but hold wisdom if you look past the surface.  It is not unusual for me to throw in a cliche or two in a session if the situation warrants.  In fact it kind of normalizes a lot of situations.  If there is a cliche it must have been true for tons of other people.

Randomly, I also like fortune cookies.  (Which is not the same thing at all but tend to be one line sayings that can actually be kind of hopeful and motivating.)

In fact I like the fortune much more than the cookie.  In my searching of the internet I found a site where I could look up fortunes all day long if I were to choose. (I don't choose to though.)

Looking for that one line wisdom?  Look no further than the here.

Testing the link right now I got "patience is the key to joy" and maybe it is.  Something for me to think about.

Change

“Habit is a man’s sole comfort.  We dislike doing without even unpleasant things to which we have become accustomed.”  ~ Goethe

Why is it sometimes hard to change?  I think the above quote sums it up.  To grow, to fully experience perhaps it would be helpful to step outside of the lines and are comfort zone.

“They Came First for the Communists,

            And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then They Came for the Jews,

            And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

Then They Came for the Catholics,

            And I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then They Came for me,

            And by that time no one was left to speak up.”

Pastor Martin Niemöller

The quote above has been presented to me several times over the years in different contexts and different educational situations.  Reading some of the information in the news today it is just scary.  It is scary when there are people are trying to enact laws saying I am unable to speak my mind.  It is scary when we don’t stand up for others.  How often have you said “I don’t care what “they” do, it doesn’t affect me.”  By saying that we are often trying to be tolerant of others but are we ever doing more harm by not advocating for other's rights instead of just "tolerating" them. 

It can be a tiresome path standing up for others but it is essential to ensure freedom – freedom of speech, freedom of choosing the path that best suits me to name a couple of freedoms I don’t want to do without. 

I hope I am able to speak up when necessary and hope that others can find the courage  do the same.

Kindness

I was thinking about kindness today and how you just can't go wrong if you are kind - even if others aren't kind back.

There is an old Patty Griffin song - Long Ride Home. 
My favorite lines in that song are

"Forty years go by with someone laying in your bed
Forty years of things you say you wish you'd never said
How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead"

 How hard would it be to just be a bit kinder.  I hope I choose kindness as often as I can.  When things are difficult or I am frustrated and I am angry or hurt and just don't want to be kind, I ask myself how hard would it really be to be kind.   I also ask myself if sometime I may regret not being kind in that moment.
Usually being kind costs nothing and is so easy to do.

Communication

As I've said before words are important.  What we say and how we say it can make all the difference to being heard, being understood and sucessful resolution of issues.  This quote below reminded me about good communication.

 

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug". ~ Mark Twain

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”  August Wilson

Something about this quote touched me today.  I think it honors that individuals are complicated.   Individuals have broken parts of themselves and instead of hiding away that which isn’t bright and shiny it may be helpful to look at those parts.  Work on them, change them, accept what you cannot change and use the parts to highlight your strengths. People are complex and looking at those pieces we don’t particular like might just make us a richer, stronger, solid individual.  Just my thoughts today.