June is PTSD Awareness Post II

The first post I did spoke about some of the events causing trauma and some of the symptoms a person might experience.  Maybe now you recognize trauma in yourself and wonder what now.  Here are some tips to coping with traumatic events.

June is PTSD Awareness Month Post I

Now that June is almost over it seems like I should have mentioned that June is PTSD awareness month. Here is part of a rack card I created about PTSD.  What I think is most important for people to know is that no matter how hopeless a situation feels that if you hang in there, it will get better.  That is where my business name Holding Hope Services is coming from.  I can hold hope for someone until they can do it for themselves.

Why I Care that May is Mental Health Awareness Month

I want people to speak about Mental Health.  There is too much stigma and shame attached to mental illness and mental health.

If I could get people to do one thing, I would get them to speak up about mental illness.  This comes from a very personal place.  I grew up with a mother who had a severe mental illness.  Her behavior could vacillate from very normal and appropriate to outright bizarre. 

 Let me give you a couple of examples of bizarre.  These are only a couple examples of pretty consistent,constant behavior during her bad times.  During one of my first two years of high school there was a parent’s night where the parents go to all your classes and the teachers talked about their curriculum.  My parents went and during the time when my French teacher was talking, my mom stared at the ceiling.  Stared at the ceiling and sung her ABC’s loudly because she had a thing about listening to gossip.  In her mind the teacher was gossiping so my mom had to show whoever that she wouldn’t listen so she was disruptive.  This is bizarre. 

Let me give you another example.  At one of my band concerts my mom passed notes to the person behind her that said things like “I know you why you are here.”   She was sure most of the people around her were trying to trick her and cause her trouble.  This is bizarre.

No one talked about it.

Outside of our family no one mentioned my mom’s actions to me.  Maybe (read maybe as definitely) they talked about how weird she was behind her back but that isn’t necessarily helpful.

 

As a child, I knew that something wasn’t right.  I even knew my mom was in emotional pain most of the time.  This means as a child I really questioned most adult’s intellect because couldn’t they see something was wrong.  I believe my mom and in turn my family suffered for far longer than necessary because of shame and stigma attached to Mental Illness.  I know there are millions of others that suffer similarly.

Maybe if my parents or family had any idea about mental illness, the services out there, and the medication available or even had a name for what was going on, some of their pain would have been alleviated.  Her family was amazing in that they accepted her for who she was but they also had no idea how to help the situation.  Maybe if people spoke up there would be less stigma.  Shame and stigma come from things being hidden and being buried like something is so wrong it can’t see the light of day.

Mental Health is important.  Taking care of your mental health, wherever you are on the continuum, is not shameful.  My mom eventually received help after many years and found the right mix of medication.  She always struggled with mental illness but it stopped being what defined her.  She was a whole person who happened to have a mental illness.  I hope other families are able to speak up and not suffer in silence.

Speak up and tell your stories.

Don't Make Me Have Fun!

This happens to me sometimes.  I am supposed to go out with a friend and I think “I am so tired.  I want to see her but I’d really like to stay home and rest.”  Maybe it is a family party and instead of looking forward to seeing and enjoying everyone, I’m just adding it as one more TASK on my “to do” list.  Maybe I mean to get a massage or my nails done for some self-care but I just don’t think I have the time. 

Hasn’t this happened to you?  Something that ‘should’ be a fun activity seems to turn into this great big commitment and trial.  Excuses from “I have too much to do” to “I need to get stuff done around the house” to “I just need down time on my own” to whatever.  Then either you force yourself to go – with anticipatory dread- and maybe even really enjoy yourself or you make an excuse and don’t go and miss out on the opportunity to enjoy yourself and connect.  Then, even if you planned on some quiet, down time, it doesn’t happen.  You find things to do around the house or feel guilty about not doing anything.  (How many times have you said “I got nothing done!”)

Doesn’t this seem a bit crazy?  Yes, I meant to say crazy.    Somewhere our priorities get a little off skew.  Yes, we need income.  Yes, we need to follow through with commitments and responsibilities.  What about enjoying life?  What about actually looking forward to going out and being with friends and family?

Ideally, we would try to find joy in all that we do but if we are going to dread something – why is it the fun things?

Next time you have something ‘fun’ planned try changing your thinking.  Think about how you enjoy being at family events or going to the art fair or going to a game.  If you start dreading the “fun” activity, question to see if you are setting up the barriers to enjoy yourself.  We benefit from embracing fun.  You have my permission to look forward to fun.  Now, give yourself that permission.

May is Mental Health Month

May is National Mental Health Month.  A whole month to celebrate mental health.  So often we overlook our mental health.  Maybe we don’t see it as being vital.  Having a positive outlook or good mental health can improve our physical health.  If you are struggling there is not shame in asking for help.  So many people have undiagnosed mental health issues because of stigma, fear and buying into the whole "pull yourself up by the bootstrap" mentality.  Getting help is not a sign of weakness - it is being courageous, giving priority to taking care of yourself and in turn helping those around you.

For more information visit on National Mental Health Month visit Mental Health America.