Why I Care that May is Mental Health Awareness Month

I want people to speak about Mental Health.  There is too much stigma and shame attached to mental illness and mental health.

If I could get people to do one thing, I would get them to speak up about mental illness.  This comes from a very personal place.  I grew up with a mother who had a severe mental illness.  Her behavior could vacillate from very normal and appropriate to outright bizarre. 

 Let me give you a couple of examples of bizarre.  These are only a couple examples of pretty consistent,constant behavior during her bad times.  During one of my first two years of high school there was a parent’s night where the parents go to all your classes and the teachers talked about their curriculum.  My parents went and during the time when my French teacher was talking, my mom stared at the ceiling.  Stared at the ceiling and sung her ABC’s loudly because she had a thing about listening to gossip.  In her mind the teacher was gossiping so my mom had to show whoever that she wouldn’t listen so she was disruptive.  This is bizarre. 

Let me give you another example.  At one of my band concerts my mom passed notes to the person behind her that said things like “I know you why you are here.”   She was sure most of the people around her were trying to trick her and cause her trouble.  This is bizarre.

No one talked about it.

Outside of our family no one mentioned my mom’s actions to me.  Maybe (read maybe as definitely) they talked about how weird she was behind her back but that isn’t necessarily helpful.

 

As a child, I knew that something wasn’t right.  I even knew my mom was in emotional pain most of the time.  This means as a child I really questioned most adult’s intellect because couldn’t they see something was wrong.  I believe my mom and in turn my family suffered for far longer than necessary because of shame and stigma attached to Mental Illness.  I know there are millions of others that suffer similarly.

Maybe if my parents or family had any idea about mental illness, the services out there, and the medication available or even had a name for what was going on, some of their pain would have been alleviated.  Her family was amazing in that they accepted her for who she was but they also had no idea how to help the situation.  Maybe if people spoke up there would be less stigma.  Shame and stigma come from things being hidden and being buried like something is so wrong it can’t see the light of day.

Mental Health is important.  Taking care of your mental health, wherever you are on the continuum, is not shameful.  My mom eventually received help after many years and found the right mix of medication.  She always struggled with mental illness but it stopped being what defined her.  She was a whole person who happened to have a mental illness.  I hope other families are able to speak up and not suffer in silence.

Speak up and tell your stories.

May is Mental Health Month

May is National Mental Health Month.  A whole month to celebrate mental health.  So often we overlook our mental health.  Maybe we don’t see it as being vital.  Having a positive outlook or good mental health can improve our physical health.  If you are struggling there is not shame in asking for help.  So many people have undiagnosed mental health issues because of stigma, fear and buying into the whole "pull yourself up by the bootstrap" mentality.  Getting help is not a sign of weakness - it is being courageous, giving priority to taking care of yourself and in turn helping those around you.

For more information visit on National Mental Health Month visit Mental Health America.

Bi-Polar Disorder

Just sharing this because I think anytime mainstream media and/or celebrity is able to chip away at the stigma of mental illness it should be shared. 

Catherine Zeta Jones:bi-polar disorder. Her private Struggle CNN.com

Random Thoughts

This blog post I stumbled upon this blog post about Charlie Sheen’s situation http://spiritscraps.blogspot.com/2011/03/no-longer-laughing-at-charlie-sheen.html
and it prompted me to write a couple of thoughts. 

I don’t know him, I can’t diagnose him but there is so obviously pain there.    The things coming out of his moth are utterly ridiculous so they amuse us and we laugh.  It just seems that the way we as a society exploit him is kind of sad.  Let us make sure to get him on every interview show so we can crack up at what he says.

Maybe I am sensitive because one of my parents was bipolar and I lived through mania episodes that were fun and funny and progressed to scary, angry, exhausting and painful for both my parent and family.  I get why it is funny,  I still laugh at some of the things my parent did and said in a manic stage.   It is like what the person says and does is so off the wall insane. The person believes it so completly and thinks you are a bit nuts for not getting it.  It can lead to situations that seem very amusing.    However, I can’t imagine what these episodes would have been like watching them on a national stage – with everyone laughing at someone I loved. 

I feel for Charlie Sheen’s family and friends because I fully believe that one of the most difficult things for any of us to do is to watch someone we love be in pain and not be able to do much of anything to alleviate that pain.  For family and friends there is often a mixture of emotions dealing with someone’s mental illness including anger, embarrassment, sadness, pain, guilt, resentment, love and hurt. (To name a few - see why it is complicated!)

I also feel for Charlie Sheen because there is so much pain and inevitably it will likely be worse before and if it gets better.

Just be aware that this is not just funny – this is what pain looks like too.

Suicide

I was touched while reading the words of the parents of actor Andrew Koenig who was found dead from suicide. Their words have so much wisdom and I am grateful that they shared them with the world.

His mother, Judy Koenig said that Andrew Koenig Andrew Koenig had many people who loved him, but "in his pain, he didn't realize it was available to him," she said. Judy Koenig

His father said, "If you're one of those people who can't handle it anymore, you know, if you can learn anything from this, there are people out there who really care. "You may not think so and ultimately it may not be enough, but there are people who really care."
Families of those who are troubled should not ignore the warning signs, he said. "Don't ignore it, don't rationalize it," he said. Walter Koenig

(Both quotes from http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/25/growing.pains.actor.dead/index.html?hpt=Sbin )

If you are not in the situation of pain it is hard to understand why someone would take their life. In that place of pain you may intellectually know there are people who care and there is help out there but the emotional connection and finding hope is so much more difficult. If you have never been in the situation where you can’t find the hope to go one, you are blessed. Mental Illness, Depression and despair are real. Believe people when they say they can’t go on. Let those in your life know you love them. I always think that if people could wait a beat or two or get to the next day they might be able to find the strength to go on. If you are in that place of pain look for that reserve in you to ask someone for help.



The Suicide Prevention Life also has a list of suicide warning signs on their home page.