Moving Blog

Hi everyone!  I am moving my blog to www.holdinghopeservices.com.  I am hoping in the process to get rid of the weird alpha interventions thing and have a nice new platform.  Please update your bookmarks.  Click on the link below.  Looking forward to seeing everyone there!    


Holding Hope Services Blog

Independence Day

I thought I might as well do a requisite Independence Day Post.  Happy Fourth of July to those in the United States.  The fourth reminds me of all the things I am grateful for.  I am grateful that I have choices to be who I want to be.  Many more women in this world do not have the opportunity to say, act, dress and be whoever they want to be.  I am grateful that I can believe and state my beliefs without fear of imprisonment or retribution.  I am grateful that I can speak up for what I believe in and that those who have opposite views of me can speak up too.  I am grateful that I can choose to go to any church I’d like or choose not to go to church at all.  I love the individuality values of America.   I am grateful that I don’t live in a homogenous culture – I have the opportunity to meet and know so many people from different worlds than I am from.  I am grateful despite the limitations and struggles in this country that there are still endless opportunities.

I’d also like to thank all the individuals who served this country.  I thank those who choose to serve and those who were made to, those who are remembered and those who are forgotten and those who made the ultimate sacrifice.  It is because of these people I am able to enjoy my freedoms.

Hope you have a wonderful Independence Day.

June is PTSD Awareness Month Post I

Now that June is almost over it seems like I should have mentioned that June is PTSD awareness month. Here is part of a rack card I created about PTSD.  What I think is most important for people to know is that no matter how hopeless a situation feels that if you hang in there, it will get better.  That is where my business name Holding Hope Services is coming from.  I can hold hope for someone until they can do it for themselves.

Choice

I've decided that my choice is to do what I love.  I believe doing what I love, living my passions will bring me contentment and happiness.  Sometimes I put obstacles and barriers of my own making into place and it gets in the way of fully living my journey.  I feel like I have to earn good times and getting what I want.  It turns out that I don't.  Sometimes life is hard and sometimes I make it harder than it needs to be.  Today I am going to choose to not put up fake barriers.  Today I am going to choose happiness.  What are you going to choose today?

Veterans

I wanted to amplify the Veteran's Job and Resource Fair my brother coordinates in the Elgin area. 

Veteran's Summit - Elgin, IL May 22, 2012 9:00-1:00pm

There will be lots of services there which could be helpful for veterans.  You can also find out information about the fair by going to the Elgin Community College Calendar at www.elgin.edu .

If you are looking for resources they are out there.  There is free mental health counseling for veterans of the OIF/OEF campaigns through Give An Hour.

You can also look up services through the VA at Veterans Administration or get information from National Veterans Foundation .

You are not alone.  There is assistance out there!

Doctor Who Quote 2

Hello,

I'm ready to share my next favorite Doctor Who quote (and no they are not in any particular order.)

For the previous Doctor Who Blog Post follow the link below.

04/03/2012 - Doctor Who Quote 1 (and explanation)

“Letting it get to you. That’s being alive; it’s being here right now. And that’s the best thing there is.”-11th Doctor, /The Doctor’s Wife/

Many of people’s struggles with the problems in their life have to do with avoiding emotions.  I’ve said it before allow you to feel those uncomfortable feelings – they aren’t going to go away by ignoring them.  Not only will feeling those emotions help you, feeling them will also enable you to be comfortable around other people who are struggling with their own rough feelings.    You can sit with them and witness instead of distracting them in an effort to lighten the mood. (Yes, I know I am guilty of this. I’m working on it.)

I think this quote is not just about struggles but staying in the moment and living fully.  When you feel passionate about something, shout it out to the world.  When you are happy – share it.  When something gets to you – speak out.  Feel.  Be alive.  Don’t worry about looking stupid or doing it wrong – just live.

And just for fun the BBC trailer from the episode "The Doctor's Wife."

For Mothers

Eye Candy Designs on Etsy

When I saw this I just wanted every mother to take this heart.  Sure there are things you could do better - would do better if acting on hindsight was possible.  However,  you do a million things perfectly.  Your children are better off because you are their mother and you love them.  Trust yourself.  Love yourself.  You are an amazing mother.

Live the Journey

Each year I make a collage with pictures and phrases that I want to
keep up front in my mind as the New Year progresses.  The pictures and
phrases are specific to me and the person I am hoping to be.  This
year one of my phrases was “not to decide the outcome before I live
the journey.”  Do you ever find yourself not trying something because you already know what the outcome will be? You might play out all the scenarios and come to a conclusion without ever having actually lived the journey. Experience brings wisdom but sometimes our experience gets in the way of us moving forward.  Have you ever said “I’ve tried everything – it won’t work?”  I have and I probably cut myself off from an opportunity.  I’m all for learning from the past but sometimes we give up too easily.  We decide something won’t work and if we looked objectively we’d see that we maybe we didn’t try it fully the last time or the circumstances are different or we are different.   See what opportunities might come your way if you don’t decide the outcome until you live the journey.

Not All or Nothing

Today I hope you remember that life is not all or nothing.  If you achieve a goal but then backslide – it doesn’t take away from what you achieve.  If you have a bad day, it doesn’t mean all your days will be bad.  (It doesn’t even mean that your entire day will be bad – maybe a couple hours in the afternoon will be perfect.)

If a person hurts you, it doesn’t mean they will always hurt you.  If you make a horrendous choice, it doesn’t mean all your choices will be mistakes.  If you are selfish in a moment – it doesn’t mean you are a selfish person.  If you parent in a way you regret – it doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Life is not black and white.  Although I often say I live in the grey, I don’t believe life is just grey.  I believe life is made up of a million different hues. Life is bold blues and vibrant yellows and even some paisley.  What I am sure of is that life is not black and white.  Find the colors of your life but remember life is not all or nothing. 

Power Blog

Happy Friday Each and Everyone.

Boosting the Signal

In May, Maddie Blomgren, LPC, CADMS of the Anger & Relationships Institute, LLC, is putting out a power blog about anger and relationships.  I am honored enough to have one of my blog entries posted.  It looks as if there will be a lot of great posts and I'm trying to get the word out.  Below is a note from Ms. Blomgren on how to get all the posts.  My post is number 10 so probably around May 20th. I look forward to reading all of the contributors. 

"Please be my guest...to free access to 14 posts from the world's leading authorities on anger and relationships all in one place. The entire month of May a blog will be posted every-other-day by one of the experts. It's your chance to receive the best and most current advice on relationships, the opposite sex, and ways to curb your anger!! 14 blogs, and some extras for subscribers, in 30 days.

Then it's over. May ends, the blog ends, the emails end.

If you want to get the most out of the 14 blogs, I would like to ask you to register for the series. You'll receive one email every-other-weekday for four weeks  (total of 14) notifying you that the post is up and sharing the link to it (plus those extras for subscribers). 

    

{this is the signup link)}

http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=fuiuaydab&p=oi&m=1103538823813 

Of course you don't have to register and can follow along by checking the blog every-other-day or through the RSS feed, but I STRONGLY encourage you to register for a couple of reasons:

1. When you sign up for something and it shows up in your inbox, it reminds you of your commitment to yourself and to change.
2. There will be extra info and maybe a goody or two for those who are serious enough about this 30 day series to register. The posts on the blog will be helpful to anyone who stops by to read them. But the emails sent every-other day, will include an extra resource, a video,  or even something for you. If you choose to sign up, you can unsubscribe anytime.   

We will not share, give, sell, or rent your email address to anyone. The other guest authors will not get your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time.

{This is the sign up link again}

 http://visitor.r20.constantcontact.com/d.jsp?llr=fuiuaydab&p=oi&m=1103538823813

Check 30 Days 4 Better Relationships if you wish to sign up for the blog.

  

May 1 to May 31 - 14 posts

LOCATION:

             www.angermanagementthatworks.com

These experts have donated their time and articles to help you. If you want to help us spread the word, I'd consider it a personal favor if you sent this link to anyone you think may be interested. Also give a shout in your Twitter conversations. We want to reach and help as many people as possible. I understand that it may seem untoward to send someone a link about anger management. If you'd rather not, then please do "LIKE" us on Facebook. That will help get the word out as well.

 http://www.facebook.com/pages/30-Days-To-Better-Relationships/280313528714728  (This is the FB link, the button should work tho if you copy it)"




-- 
Maddie Blomgren, LPC, CADMS
Anger & Relationships Institute, LLC

Being a Therapist

Today I was thinking about my favorite thing about being a therapist.  I am constantly amazed at how much I love it.  It is an unexpected surprise because back in the day I thought I would grow old working at an agency specializing in child welfare.  That is a person that I almost don't recognize now.


I was listening to someone's story earlier and I was struck of how much of an honor it is to witness other people's struggles and stories.  It is humbling and awe inspiring (and no, I'm actually not exaggerating) to share these moments with clients.  It is so important for each of us to be heard and to find our voice and I get to help people with that.  I am humbled at how brave so many clients are with taking that step to be vulnerable and say "I want to be known" and "I am worthy."


I have so much joy and so much appreciation of all of you who allow me to go a short time with you on your journey.  Thank you.

Random Thoughts being an LCSW

I just read this short blog post on a clinical social worker’s real mission.

http://blog.acswa.org/clinical-social-work-news/clinical-social-works-real-mission/ 

After reading it I thought about the struggles social workers have and with what a person looking for a therapist gets when they choose a social worker.

When you are looking for a therapist you will see all sorts of initials after people’s name.  If you are not in the field you may have no idea what they mean.  Within the field there is a sort of hierarchy of who is “better” based on credentials.

I am an LCSW which means a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.  In Illinois, an LCSW has a Masters Degree in Social Work (MSW), at least two years post MSW experience under another LCSW and then passes a national board exam.  I love being a social worker but I know that many people have no idea what that means.

In effort to be taking seriously I think that someone who is a social worker may try to make sure people know they aren’t a caseworker.   A person might say they are a therapist rather than a social worker.  (Though for some of us using the word therapist rather than social worker is a much harder transition.)  I get where that desire to differentiate comes from.  I know I can get frustrated when helping someone with transportation at my dialysis job and someone says “that’s what social workers do, they enjoy it.”  (Yes, that has been said to me.  More than once!  I don’t actually enjoy it.)  The thing is that finding transportation is vital for a dialysis patient because they need to get to dialysis in order to keep living.  (Side note:  If you are ever looking for a volunteer activity or to help someone – consider driving a dialysis patient to and from treatment.) Even though it is vital, I think “I have so many more skills than this.”  I feel guilty thinking that though because part of social work is helping people overcome barriers.

I think it must be about finding some balance.  I enjoy the clinical aspects of therapy but my world is consistent with being a social worker.  I believe there is some need for encouraging social justice.  I believe that are concerns and problems are not just internal but are often a result of larger systems from our relationships, to our families, to our neighborhood, cities, cultures, spiritual system or anything that we are part of a larger structure.  I guess I’ll be both a social worker and a therapist and continue working on better integrating them into one identity.  Just my random thoughts.

Three Quarters of the Way

I’ve been thinking about friendships and relationships in general.  There is a fine line between letting someone walk all over you and accepting a person for who they are.  I believe I am basically a good friend.  I care about people, am loyal and can make a friend laugh.  However, there are times in the past when I’ve acted badly or hurt a friend.  There are times I’ve reached out to try to mend a friendship and it wasn’t well received.  There are other friends who hang in there all of the time (You know who you are (Karen and Kristin to name two) but other people don’t seem to want to be bothered.

Looking back on some of my friendships that I harmed, I can see that I just didn’t have the skills I needed to mend fences.  I wonder how much richer both my life and some other people’s lives could have been if they took my overtures as they were intended.  I might have learned the skills at that time of how to strengthen a relationship.

How often do you cut people out of your life?  Have you ever seen someone trying to make up with you but for whatever reason you don’t think it is enough.  Maybe you tell yourself that you’ll meet them halfway but they need to work at it.  What would happen if you met the other person three quarters of the way?  Maybe they don’t have the skills necessary to do what you need.  Maybe they really don’t know what to do.  What if you role modeled how to patch up a relationship.  It is normal for people to come and go in our lives but there is such a thing as continuity and having history with someone. 

I just think that if sometimes a person isn’t so rigid or unwilling to give a little more than they think they should, they might benefit from the richness of relationship.  If you are able to do go a bit farther for someone then maybe people will be able to do it for you.

People and relationships are not disposable.  They are often worth going that extra mile.

“If one does not wish bonds broken, one should make them elastic and

thereby strengthen them." ~ Ardant du Picq

Renewal

Most Christians of the world celebrate Easter today.  (Happy Easter if you do celebrate!)  I look at today as a time of joy and renewal.  I think we could all use some renewal.  There are so many ways to give your life a lift.  It could be as simple as decluttering. (Could your closet use a good cleaning out?)  It could be as difficult as finally taking that risk you’ve been wishing to take.  What can you do?  You could remind someone that you love them.  You could start that yoga class.  You could go back to church.  You could call an old friend.  You could start writing that book.  You could plan that vacation. You could go for a walk or paint that dresser or cook that recipe you have saved but never find time to make. You could drastically cut back on your diet coke intake (whoops- that’s me.)   Just do SOMETHING.  Embrace this wonderful, blooming time and year and find a way to renew yourself.

Hang in there.

I saw a picture yesterday that said “little by little we travel far.”  How true.  Sometimes it feels like no matter how hard we work and no matter how much we struggle that we are just marking time.   You are not.  You are constantly moving forward even if it feels as slow as water wearing down a rock.

Take a moment and take stock of the last year or two.  How have you changed?  In what ways have you moved forward?   Give yourself some points for how far you’ve come.

Today Has Been Cancelled.

Sometimes I wish the day was cancelled.  There are times when I dread getting through the drudgery of the day.  That is unfortunate for me because if I stayed alone in bed all day I would miss out on the present.  I would miss the sunny day, the dialysis patient making jokes, my favorite song on the radio, and interacting with   my family.  I would miss out on all I accomplished (like actually getting the bed sheets changed and writing this post!)  The repetitiveness and the busiest of each day isn't what the day about.  The day is about the moments.  Remind yourself to rejoice in the moments each day brings.

30 Posts in 30 Days (or maybe delusions of grandeur - we'll see)

I spend a lot of time starting blog posts.  I have so many great ideas for posts and I write 2 or 3 lines and then I put my masterpiece beginning aside and save it for later.  You know ~later~ when I will take the time to write it up properly.  You guessed it.  Later rarely comes.  Instead, my blog start gets to be saved forever and never sees the light of day.

I keep thinking that I have to do something to get writing and then it happened.  I was playing (read playing as avoiding things I probably should have been doing) on Pinterest and I saw a pin for a blog challenge of 30 blog posts in 30 days.  Just the thing to motivate me.  I decided to buy into the challenge and I am going to try to get 30 posts done this month.  (I can do anything for thirty days – right?)  I have faith in me.  (However, I don’t promise interesting and fascinating posts so you might have to read and decide that for yourself.)

So, Happy Spring and Happy April Fool’s Day.  (A holiday I don’t know why individuals continue to celebrate because I don’t think it is amusing to trick or attempt to make other people look or feel stupid.  Generally I would say that is not desired behavior.  I’m just saying.)

I am ready for this challenge.  I will talk to you again tomorrow. 

(Not to jinx it but I think I can get at least to day two.)

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

Did you know this is national eating disorders awareness week.  It may be beneficial to check out some links or stories regarding eating disorders and events.  Here are a couple to get you started.

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/nedawareness-week.php

http://www.ourbodiesourblog.org/blog/2012/02/national-eating-disorders-awareness-week

http://www.delmarvanow.com/article/20120228/NEWS01/120228016/HEALTH-Breaking-free-when-food-takes-control

Hope your week is full of promise and possibility!

Missing Piece

Once upon a time in a session someone said to me “I feel like I have a missing piece and when I find it I’ll feel whole.”   The book The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein jumped in my head.  I remembered the book was about the circle Pac Man thingy rolling along and finding his missing piece.  Only, it turns out I remembered it wrong.  It is so much better than I remembered.

It is about this circle which is missing a piece.  (Think a pie slice.)  It searches far and wide for a piece that will fit it perfectly.  On the way it plays with butterflies and meets lots of different pieces it checks out.  The circle has all types of adventures and then one day it finally meets the piece that fits it perfectly.  He has so much joy because he found his missing piece.  Only, it doesn’t quite work out the way he expected.  The piece fits so well he becomes a full circle and starts rolling and rolling and isn’t able to play with butterflies or meet other pieces or enjoy any of what he passes on the journey.  The circle realizes having the missing piece isn’t better for him and separates from his missing piece.  He is able to take pleasure in his journey again.

How often are we that circle?  We think of happiness and contentment as the finish line.  I did it.  I am happy.  Maybe we think of happiness as finding that one true soul mate.  You may ask yourself “if this is the love of my life why aren’t I happy?”

It is because life isn’t about the finish line.  Life is everyday struggles and joys.  Life is sharing this with those we love – not about those we love filling in a place in our soul to make us complete.  You may not feel it but you are a whole person.  There is no missing piece.   You can grow, change and live but life is about now.  Stop looking for your missing piece.  Enjoy the journey. Play with butterflies.  Love, share joy and sorrow with those you meet along the way.  You are already worthy and complete.

You are enough!

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin to Pooh

I have this quote in my office.  More than once someone has told me they read it and remembered they were stronger than they sometimes think.  Don’t sell yourself short.   This isn’t about enduring obstacles.  This is about achieving potential.  This is about jumping in with both feet.  

This is about soaring.  You are more.