Three Quarters of the Way

I’ve been thinking about friendships and relationships in general.  There is a fine line between letting someone walk all over you and accepting a person for who they are.  I believe I am basically a good friend.  I care about people, am loyal and can make a friend laugh.  However, there are times in the past when I’ve acted badly or hurt a friend.  There are times I’ve reached out to try to mend a friendship and it wasn’t well received.  There are other friends who hang in there all of the time (You know who you are (Karen and Kristin to name two) but other people don’t seem to want to be bothered.

Looking back on some of my friendships that I harmed, I can see that I just didn’t have the skills I needed to mend fences.  I wonder how much richer both my life and some other people’s lives could have been if they took my overtures as they were intended.  I might have learned the skills at that time of how to strengthen a relationship.

How often do you cut people out of your life?  Have you ever seen someone trying to make up with you but for whatever reason you don’t think it is enough.  Maybe you tell yourself that you’ll meet them halfway but they need to work at it.  What would happen if you met the other person three quarters of the way?  Maybe they don’t have the skills necessary to do what you need.  Maybe they really don’t know what to do.  What if you role modeled how to patch up a relationship.  It is normal for people to come and go in our lives but there is such a thing as continuity and having history with someone. 

I just think that if sometimes a person isn’t so rigid or unwilling to give a little more than they think they should, they might benefit from the richness of relationship.  If you are able to do go a bit farther for someone then maybe people will be able to do it for you.

People and relationships are not disposable.  They are often worth going that extra mile.

“If one does not wish bonds broken, one should make them elastic and

thereby strengthen them." ~ Ardant du Picq

goddess quiz

I admit it.  When I have time or am procrastinating, I might take a personality or fun quiz or two.  On a board I watch someone put out a goddess quiz which is apparently based on the book “Goddess in Everywoman” by Jean Bolen.  Sometimes it may feel like none of the answer fits but if you just stick with it the explanations of the goddess are interesting.

Which goddess fits you? 

What I like about a quiz like this one is that I believe it lets us look at ourselves a little differently.  Maybe consider what are our strengths and struggles.  I’m all about self reflection.

The highest answer when I took the quiz was Persephone by quite a bit.  She is someone who had quite the struggles in mythology.  Her mother is involved, Hades is involved, the underworld, mystery and violence all present.

However, she is also known for being a reminder that after winter spring comes.  Some places describe her as offering hope and renewal at the time we are in the most despair.  She helps us bring us back to light and helps us transform to new.

As a therapist one of my greatest wishes and hopefully skill is to help you keep hope that change is possible and help you see that darkness isn’t all there is.  I wish that you could all remember that hope isn’t a horrible word and that even your darkest moments will pass.

Informed Woman Month

April is Informed Woman Month.  I have no idea what it is all about but I am completely for woman being informed.  (When looking up information I saw several links about it also being National Car Month with a lot of encouragement for woman to learn some basics about maintaining their car.) 

Information and knowledge give us the ability to make good decisions, to develop insight and live a fuller life.  One of my favorite quotes which I’m sure I’ve mentioned on this blog before is “in the times of change, the learners will inherit the earth while the learned are prepared for a world that no longer exists.” (Eric Hoffler).

So get on out there and learn something.