Kindness

I was thinking about kindness today and how you just can't go wrong if you are kind - even if others aren't kind back.

There is an old Patty Griffin song - Long Ride Home. 
My favorite lines in that song are

"Forty years go by with someone laying in your bed
Forty years of things you say you wish you'd never said
How hard would it have been to say some kinder words instead"

 How hard would it be to just be a bit kinder.  I hope I choose kindness as often as I can.  When things are difficult or I am frustrated and I am angry or hurt and just don't want to be kind, I ask myself how hard would it really be to be kind.   I also ask myself if sometime I may regret not being kind in that moment.
Usually being kind costs nothing and is so easy to do.

Couple's Counseling

I am just jotting down some quick random thoughts after reading a short article on why couples therapy might not work.  I actually agree with several things in this article.  Nothing earth shattering, just things to consider when embarking on couples counsleing.

Personally, I believe people often wait too long to go into therapy – a last ditch effort- to be able to say everything was tried.  I am a firm believer that improving communication skills and strengthen relationships is always a good idea so why not go to therapy before things get too bad.  Find a therapist who can believe in your relationship and fully commit and you are on your way.

10 reasons couples counseling may not work

Giving Back

Sometimes when we see individuals struggling we want to help them out.  Sometimes when we are grateful for goodness or bounty in our lives we want to give back.  Although there are always small things we can do and things we can do that don't cost money, most of us get that many programs and organizations need money to survive.

I don't always have a lot of money to give and can't give to everything that is worthy so I was very excited to find this website.   Philiantrhoper.com

It highlights a different non-profit organization a day and its tag line is a little helps a lot.  It takes donations of $1.00 to give to the chosen organization.

I get e-mail alerts each day, I check out the organization and if it is one I support, I give a dollar.  It is such an easy, painless way for me to help.  The hardest part was signing up for the money processing they use but if you hang in there it gets done and you don't have to worry about it again.

Check it out and see how you can help a little.

A favorite poem...

This poem below by Portia Nelson has always been one of my favorites.  It speaks to me about resilience, strength, figuring it out and even forgiving ourselves.  Life is a journey.  Working through our issues is a process.  There is hope to get to a better place.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place
but, it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

This isn't quite how family therapy is supposed to go...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PU-hTdkzg8&feature=related


Or is it?  The Simpson's unite together in their common dislike of the therapist.  Building positive reciprocity with family members seems to lead to happier, more fulfilled relationships.  Try looking at the commonalities with your children, your partner, your siblings or your parents.  Do something nice for a family member with no expectations.  Review your interactions with your family and recognize the nice things they may be do for you that you may take for granted.